missed out..

Do you know,, what is the saddest thing of being far away from your family??

For me,, that I have a little brother.. It is really sad to miss out being with him when he grows up and becomes more mature.. It’s really sad that I couldn’t be with him when he was going to high school and tell him what and what not to do..
I didn’t get to see him and his GF and how his cuteness gone and became a man, and just not being there when he needs answer for his curiosity..

It is sad, not to be able to guide him through his high school and life.. I really wanna see him grow up and be a man..

What’s left, Now he wears white-gray uniform (high school uniform) and long pants.. He has a GF, he rides motorcycle, he gets to hang out with his boys..

I didn’t get to teach him math/english/anything.. I didn’t get to tell him what’s life is like in HS,, I didn’t get to be with him when he got into HS..

I love my broo so much.. and if he asks me for disneyland and if I’m capable of giving him it,, I probably would try my best to do it.. I just love him so much.. he is the first guy on my list on my happiness list.. the first guy I want to see him so happy..

The last thing I told him, is not to hurt any girl’s heart, I don’t care if he is being a bad boy or naughty or what, just don’t ever hurt someone’s feeling.. just don’t..!!!! don’t even try..!!
Hopefully that’s not gonna be my last advice for me since he’s growing up and be more mature.. I hope that he will listen to me eventhough he’s entering his adulthood soon..

Unfortunately it’s too late when I realized everything,, when I realized that I would miss these moments,, if I knew it from the begining I would probably think twice.. I would probably not want to leave..

Pemerintah Indonesia amat tidak bijaksana..

I think Indonesian Government is ridiculously unwise..!!

Thanks to mivo.tv gw bisa nonton channel2 Indo dari sini..
Gw nonton berita di RCTI, lalu ada berita tentang orang2 yang sudah 7 tahun tinggal di sebelah TPU di gusur begitu saja tanpa pemberitahuan..!! mereka dateng out of no where dan mengusir paksa orang2 disana dan menghancurkan gubuk2 mereka..

Why unwise?? Mereka seharusnya memberi pemberitahuan beberapa minggu sebelumnya, sehingga mereka bisa mencari tempat tinggal setelah mereka digusur.. Atau paling nggak memberi beberapa waktu untuk mereka pack up.
Ada seorang anak SD yang pagi itu dia sedang ada di kelas. D buku2nya terbenam dibawah hancurnya gubuknya,, karena da tidak sempat membereskan buku2..
Did the government think about that???? WTF was that??

Dan dimana mereka akan tinggal setelah itu??? Tidaklah seharusnya mereka bertanggug jawab akan dimana mereka tinggal?? Kenapa nggak sebelum mereka menggusur mereka paling nggak pemerintah mencari tempat penampungan sementara untuk mereka dulu, jadi mereka nggak jadi ‘homeless’..

Kenapa mereka gegabah melakukan pembersihan,, tanpa memikirkan akibatnya??

I really hate to say this,, but that’s one of the reason why I don’t really want to go back to Indonesia.. I probably would see stuffs like that almost everyday and I would feel really bad for the people. And I don’t want to see that kind of thing for the rest of my life.. I don’t want to be lead by dumb, unwise, and unthoughtful government..

======================================================

Update..
Ok, belom gitu lama gw amazed dan gak percaya sama berita di atas.. Gw lanjut nonton dan ada ada berita tentang penutupan gedung sekolah. Jadi murid2nya gak bisa masuk, karena di jaga polisi. Gw gak jelas kenapa sekolah itu di tutup tapi ini bukan pertama kalinya ada penutupan dan rencana penutupan sekolah di Indonesia..

Beberapa tahun lalu di jakarta juga ada kejadian demikian dimana sebuah gedung sekolah di tutup dan rencananya akan di bangun sebuah pusat perbelanjaan..
Dan Gw rasa mereka gak BUTA dan SADAR dan TAU kalo pusat perbelanjaan di Jakarta itu sudah keterlaluan banyaknya..

Pemerintah nggak mikir tentang pendidikan, bukannya ikut membela para pelajar agar mereka bisa terus menuntut ilmu biar generasi2 anak2 bangsa berikutnya bisa semakin pintar.. Tapi gak tau gimana cara berpikir para pemerintah lebih mementingkan uang dari pada pendidikan. Dan gw juga nggak ngerti cara berpikir para boss2 yang bangun mall2.. APA MEREKA JUGA BUTA?? kagak liat mall di Jakarta udah seberapa banyaknya?? emang orang Indonesia sekaya apa bisa belanja setiap saat?? apa guna mall2 itu?? dan stoopid pemerintah itu nyetujuin ajah orang2 bikin mall2..

Goshhh..!! gw gak abis pikir sama semua itu.. gw gak tau gimana cara berpikir orang2 yang ada di bangku pemerintahan.. dan mana orang2 yang pada akal sehat dan punya power.. Kenapa mereka milih diam?? berapa sieh mereka di bayar??? Malu nggak sieh mereka? Moralnya apa sieh?? Kenapa orang2 yang pada punya power egoiss??
Instead of bangunin mall2 kepikiran gak sieh mereka buat bangun rumah susun yang harganya murah supaya mengurangi jumlah homeless di Jakarta? Sekali2 kepikiran selalu merauk untung donk,, sesekali memberi. Toh kalo pada mati juga uang2 itu ngak bakal ikut di kubur..

I also hate to say this, after all I’m so upset to know and to be an Indonesian, because I just have to see all of this stuffs.. and I can’t just close my eyes.. I wish that one day I can do something.. hmm..

thoughtful..

for some thoughtful reason,, gw mungkin gak balik Juni ini.. buat siapa ajah yang BT/kesel karena gw gak balik juni ini.. pliss.. plisss.. plisss.. jangan ngomong apa2 ke gw ttg ini ato jangan marah sama gw.. Gw juga pengen marah.. Gw juga sedih,, lu smua tau betapa pengennya gw pulangg..

Thank God adek gw di trima di tere gelombang pertama.. I didn’t know that my bro was that smart.. hauahhahaha.. oh well.. dan dia masuk SMA taon ini.. uang pangkalnya super duper mahal.. kmaren rapat katanya minimal 18 jt MINIMAL..!!! blon lagi uang buku,, seragam dkk..

Gw gak mao ngebebanin nyokap ajah.. u kalo gw pulang ke Indo paling nggak gw nguarin duid sekitar 20jt buat tiket dan dkk.. dan gw lebih rela untuk gak buang tuh duid tapi nyimpen bwt yang laen2..
Gw emank udah cape ngalah.. tapi kalo gini ceritanya gw juga gak tega jadi orang egois..

Guys,, mungkin gw gak bisa ktemu kalian dalam waktu 2 taonan ini.. Tapi gw pasti balik kok one day.. Doain ajah gw dikasi rejeki yee.. biar gw bisa pulang kapan ajah gw mao..

Gw juga gak mao marah sama Yang Di Atas.. dia dah ngasih gw kerjaan bantuin Vnul itu dah berkat bwt gw.. ade gw masuk ke tere itu doa gw dikabulin banget.. dia bisa masuk skola yang cukup bagus dengan lingkungan yang mayan bagus,, paling nggak di tuh skolaan kagak ada premannya.. Dan paling nggak gw bisa keep my laptop.. Hopefully summer nanti gw dapet kerja yaa.. doain gw plis..!! gw lagi mao nyoba apply di sears photo.. kebetulan itu deket sama rumah gw.. dan photo..!! itu abbilty gw paling nggak.. God has been sooo greatttt too mee.. I know He has some wonderful plans for me and my family.. bantu gw,, apapun yang gw lewatin dalam hidup gw supaya gw tetep sabar,, wise,, rendah hati dan tetep slalu berjalan dalam namaNya..

Oh well..
Congratzz to my broo..!! I love you my lil brooo……… I hellaaa misss youuuuu..
and I love my mom and my dad too.. I miss ‘em..

 

With Love,
CheL

Dilemma..

Dilemma,, gw lagi dilemma berat.. menentukan dua pilihan yang benernya kalo boleh gw mao ngejalananin dua2nya..

Apa ajah sieh??

Badminton VS Part Time Job..

gw lagi bingung,, apa gw join badminton season ini ato gw gak badminton tapi kerja ajah.. Yang pasti kalo yang ngasih saran “dua2nya ajah” itu gak mungkin banget,, blowalker yang suka lewat di blog gw saat season badminton juga tau seberapa sibuknya gw during the season..

Badminton,, gw pengen banget nambahin pajangan trophy gw.. gw pengen banget jadi juara.. dan emank juga.. gw butuh 5 more credit bwt PE.. jd either gw badminton taon ini ato senior year.. badminton itu dah kyk hidup gw somewhat..

Kerja,, benernya tadinya tujuannya,, kalo gw bisa bayar tiket gw pulang pake duid ndiri this summer.. would be awesome.. tapi stela gw itung2.. tuh duid kerja 5 months juga gak cukup.. Tapi gw juga punya banyak benda2 yang pengen gw beli dengan hasil keringet gw ndiri.. contohnya?? Lensa dan lensa dan lensa dan lensa dan batere grip dan tripod.. buanyaaaaaakkkk… gw punya hobby mahal.. tapi gw mao hobby gw itu gak bikin nyokap gw broke juga.. gw pikir gw mesti tau konsekuensi punya hobby mahal… Jadinya gw pikir gw mao coba mulai kerja dr skarang..

Yang mana yaahh??? gw mesti mikir cepet nieh.. soalnya kalo gw mao kerja.. gw butuh ngurus permission slip dr skola dkk.. kalo mao badminton gw mesti bikin appointment doctor bwt general check up ><

saia bingung,, jujurr..!!! saia bingungg.. >< what should I doo?? which one should I choose??

Gw pernah janji sama my lil bro.. Kalo gaji pertama gw itu bwt ade gw.. mksdnya ya bwt dia mao beli apa aja.. psp.. wii.. whatever.. gaji2 gw berikutnya selain bwt kebutuhan hobby gw,, juga buat ade gw.. dia kmaren ini bilang mao laptop.. Trus,, kalo emank saia bisa.. saia mao tinggal ndiri di apartement.. gw pengen bebas.. bebas banget..  cape gw di jagain sama om tante molo.. Kalo emank dengan kerja gw baru bisa dapet duid bwt kebebasan gw,, why not?? Gw percaya kok kalo gw bisa..

Oh well.. God helpp meee….

In Love..

I’m soooooooooooo in loveee with Michael Phelps.. I’m pretty sure most of you will be like “Who the hell is Michael Phelps??” or like “Is he a cute guy in your school??” No,, I’ve never seen him person.. I just knew him a couple days a go but I’m sooo in love with him..

He is an US national swimmer and he is the world best swimmer.. He is holding most of the world record.. He has gotten 3 gold medals in Beijing olympic til today.. He is soo damn howtt.. He is cutee.. he is just athletic.. He is justt perfecttttttt……

Michael was born in 1985 in Baltimore, USA.. He has been swimming since age 7 and he competed in 2000 Sydney Olympic at age 15 he didn’t get anything but he was the fifth place in 200m Butterfly stroke.. In 2004 he was back again in Athens Olympic and he got six golds medals and two bronzes.. and This year at his 23 he came back and be the world best swimmer..

I watch most of his game and he is justt like dolphinnn..!! he swims like crazy.. He didn’t put any effort he was just swims like usualll.. OMG.. for sure,, you should watch the 400m freestyle relay.. Michael and his friends did a tremendous job.. They were awwwweeesommmeee.. u should watch that,, go find it in youtube..!! that was like the fastest relay ever and it was just an awesome race..

I just love Michael Phelps like crazyyy.. Phelps FTW..!!!

Name is A Prayer..

I’ve ever heard a believe that says Our name is our parent’s prayer.. That’s why I don’t make fun whoever’s name..

My name was taken from a soccer star from Juventus back in 80’s.. Michel Platini.. and.. My mom named me Michella instead of Michelle.. lol.. anyway tehy have the same meaning.. Michelle: “Who is like God..” and my brother’s name has the same meaning too..

So,, I just searched what my friend’s names mean.. So guys,, I’ll mention ur name here..

Raymond means like a person who like protector..
Ricky is like the brave one..
Yuda means war..

So,, Michella,, Raymond and Ricky came from Europe.. but Yuda is like Indonesian name.. haha.. anyway.. I love my name.. and my friends name.. I called Raymoen as Rei.. Ricky as Rick.. But Yuda… It’s weaird when you call him ‘yud’ So I just call him Yuda.. don’t you think it sounds like Japanese name..

Aniwae,, yeaa.. Whatever our name is don’t ever think to change it or like.. hate it.. It’s our parent’s prayer

Serenity Prayer..

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I held the card and I read those columns.. Suddenly My heart started beating..
I realize this is the one that I need..

Awaaayyy from being so religious coz I’m so not.. I quickly type that prayer in my cell phone.. ‘coz I don’t want to buy that small card for $1.50 I set that prayer as a note that stuck on my wallpaper.. so then everytime I open my cellphone.. I read it over and over again.. until I became unselfish..

I have the will.. In my heart I kept saying that prayer in my words.. I really want that change in my live and I surely need God to help me with it..

Hopefully that would works on me..

*arghhhh..*

Itu teriakku.. Inginku berteriak.. aku bosan.. Rasa penatku membuatku membuka kemabli lembaran lembaran blogku sejak oktober 2007 ini.. Ternyata banyak cerita yang sudah kujalani,, kulewati,, kesesali,, dan masih banyaakk lagi..

Di dalam semua cerita itu ada saatnya aku merasa menjadi orang yang paling bahagia di dunia dan juga saatnya aku merasa menjadi roang yang paling tidak beruntung.. Sambil menatap sekeliling kamarku yang hancur,, belom sempat aku mencoba membereskannya.. ada saja yang mengalihkanku dari niat untuk membereskan kamar,, sama seperti sekarang rasa inginku untuk menulis jauh lebih besar dari pada rasa inginku untuk mencoba membereskan kamarku..

Jam dinding itu terus berjalan tepat jam 10:30 malam.. Malam yang tidak begitu dingin.. Aku lapar.. Hari ini aku makan pagi rangkap makan siang,,, berpikir untuk menikmati makan malam sayang ini sudah terlalu larut.. Hari ini hari minggu di Indonesia dimana banyak dari teman2ku tidak bisa online atau pun pergi menikmati akhir minggu mereka..

arggh.. aku bosan,, sendiri seperti biasa.. Lulu yang menemaniku,, di selalu memperhatikanku setiap apa yang aku lakukan di dalam kamarku.. Lulu,, sebuah boneka lumba yang aku pikir cukup besar juga.. Hadiah dari seorang sahabat.. “Andai aku bisa memberimu seekor lumab2 beneran” katanya,, Toh sebuah boneka lumba2 sebesar Lulu pun cukup membuatku tercengat saat melihatnya pertama kali.. Lulu gak pernah marah kalo aku lagi BT.. Lulu denger ajah tuh kalo aku ngedumel.. kalo aku lagi seneng atau sedih mungkin lulu yang denger pertama kali,, aku peluk pertama kau.. kalo aku lagi sedih aku bisa liat bayanganku di mata Lulu,, bayangan seorang cewe yang sedang sedih.. Salah satu hadiah terindah ya Lulu itu.. saat aku ngeliat lulu ada 2 makluk yang terlintas dlama bayangku.. Satu sang pemberi,, dua ya lumba2 itu sendiri..

Hari ini memang panas skali,, buktinya jendela dapur sudah terbuka tetap saja angin tak terasa,, Apa aku bisa tidur malam ini..!? huwh.. Lavin sedang terlelap sejak siang tadi,, dia tampakk lelah sekali.. ternyata menjadi seorang yang produktif memang melelahkan..

Makasi sudah membaca postku yang ini.. juga post2ku yang lain..

It’s been a while..

The last time I hanged out with Lavin.. I mean just two of us.. I dunno.. I don’t even remember.. Since she has a BF,, we usually hang out together.. So,, no more me and Lavin hanging out together..

Chris is in Indiana,, he is having an east coast trip with his family,, He will be back in 2 weeks I think,, and he will stay for 10 days and fly back to Indiana ‘coz he is transfering to Indiana.. Today,, Me and Lavin start to hang out together again,, just like before..
The first couple month they are together I felt she changed a lot.. ‘coz my friend in Indo even though they have GFs they still have time for their best friends.. I mean,, there are still some times that we hang out,, only us as best friends..
I’m happy coz today I’m gonna play mini golf with Lavin, then go to several place with her.. She wants to make a scrap book for her B,, I like to make scrap books,, So I know where to buy cheap stuffs and what she needs..

We are planning to go to IKEA too.. A lovely furniture store,, where there are a lot of cute stuffs that can make you spend money for a junk.. LOL.. I just love IKEA,, just window shopping coz the stuff there are just too expensivee..
I do have money to buy some but I don’t need it.. Trying to save up my money for my future DSLR camera.. Since my mom doesn’t want to buy it for me.. She doesn’t like me to be a photographer.. I always think that I’ve my own live and I can do whatever things I wanna do.. And they (friends and families) help me to remind me if what I do is wrong but it doesn’t mean they can stop whatever makes me happy right..!?

I know my mom loves me,, she doesn’t love me by giving me whatever I want.. But she loves me by giving me the best things she can..  hoaaaaaaaaaa… anywayy.. have a great 3 days weekend people..!!

Happy Story..

thx to my buddy dani_dee stela dia menjadi orang trakhir yang chat sama gw sbelom gw tidur smalem.. thx juga jadi salah satu orang yang gak mikir gw lagi jatuh cinta saat gw bilang demen lagu sempurna kmaren.. hahaha..

jatuh cintaa… beratt booo… gw lagi gak mao jatuh cinta,, oengen sieh ktemu orang yang bisa bikin gw jatuh cinta.. tapi emanknya enak jatuh cinta..!? makan,, mikirin dia,, mandi,, mikirin dia,, di kelas,, di kamar mandi,, di gym,, di wc,, di mana mikirin dia.. emanknya dia sapa sampe di pikirin!? ahhaha.. gak ahh,, saia belum mau jatuh cinta.. haha.. Lagu sempurna punya satu arti ajah ttg sesuatu yang gw gak sadarin.. yang bikin gw demen dan nyaman denger lagu itu.. dan semoga apa ayang gw bayangin setiap gw denger lagu itu bisa jadi kenyataan.. apa yang gw bayangin..!? rahasia keluarga :p

yang pasti tiap gw denger lagu itu gw brasa heppi dan gara2 kmaren sharian denger lagu itu,, gw masih hepi sampe skarang.. and sperti yang dani bilang,, enjoy the song ajah.. enjoy the happiness everytime I listen to the song..

Jarang2 gw masuk melewatui campus2 yang membosankan dengan langkah happy.. campus,, haha.. yeaa,, we used to call it campus here.. jalan dengan happy.. gw excited banget bwt taon depan sieh,, terutama karena gw ambil kelas2 yang baru yang gw pengen tau.. truss.. gw mao bwt photography club jadi sesuatu yang mengesankan bwt  gw..

sumpa,, gw lagi happy.. walo td semped sakit perut dan kelaperan sebentar.. hahaha…

niwe,, happy dayy….